Monday, December 26, 2011

The Punisher 2

Here's the thing for anyone reading this, I enjoy stupid action movies. Not that stuff you see Tom Cruise in, what was it, Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol, that's too toned-down for my tastes. You'll never see Tom Cruise rip a dudes head off or unnecessarily blow somebody up with a rocket launcher. You will however see both in Punisher: War Zone, the sequel to the first Punisher movie.


Okay, the reason I picked this one from the library instead of all the others was the promise on the back of "Strong Brutal Violence". I've never seen a movie that's been rated  R for strong brutal violence, normally strong violence is enough. So I popped it in and within 5 minutes the punisher had killed about 20 guys in absolutely horrific ways, awesome. There's one problem though, the time in between the brutal killing sucks. I mean it really sucks, it's so bad I would advise fast-forwarding through it. But it gave me an idea.

I want to start a company that takes normal action movies, and edits them, removing all traces of story. All you'd be left with is about 15 minutes of pure action fight sequences without any of the boring melodrama. I wouldn't stop there, I would take every single action movie ever made and splice the action sequences into the single best movie ever made. Now you're probably thinking that movies need the soft-mushy bits to function, and without them we'd all be left confused wondering why people are shooting at each other, while that's where you're wrong.

Nobody watches a movie like Punisher: War Zone for the story, we watch it to see some badass moves and gruesome killings, that's what my movie titled simply: 'Action' will provide. Look for it in theaters never, although it might be online sometime after I stop procrastinating.

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