Monday, December 26, 2011

The Punisher 2

Here's the thing for anyone reading this, I enjoy stupid action movies. Not that stuff you see Tom Cruise in, what was it, Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol, that's too toned-down for my tastes. You'll never see Tom Cruise rip a dudes head off or unnecessarily blow somebody up with a rocket launcher. You will however see both in Punisher: War Zone, the sequel to the first Punisher movie.


Okay, the reason I picked this one from the library instead of all the others was the promise on the back of "Strong Brutal Violence". I've never seen a movie that's been rated  R for strong brutal violence, normally strong violence is enough. So I popped it in and within 5 minutes the punisher had killed about 20 guys in absolutely horrific ways, awesome. There's one problem though, the time in between the brutal killing sucks. I mean it really sucks, it's so bad I would advise fast-forwarding through it. But it gave me an idea.

I want to start a company that takes normal action movies, and edits them, removing all traces of story. All you'd be left with is about 15 minutes of pure action fight sequences without any of the boring melodrama. I wouldn't stop there, I would take every single action movie ever made and splice the action sequences into the single best movie ever made. Now you're probably thinking that movies need the soft-mushy bits to function, and without them we'd all be left confused wondering why people are shooting at each other, while that's where you're wrong.

Nobody watches a movie like Punisher: War Zone for the story, we watch it to see some badass moves and gruesome killings, that's what my movie titled simply: 'Action' will provide. Look for it in theaters never, although it might be online sometime after I stop procrastinating.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Gears of War 3 Graphics

It's been awhile, but I'm back for some more blogging, hopefully this time I can keep it up. My last post was about Gears of War, so what better way to get back into the swing of things than with a Gears of War 3 post. The thing I'm most impressed about with Gears 3 is the graphics. I first played through it in offline co-op mode, so splitting the 42' widescreen in half didn't give me the feeling that the graphics were much improved from the previous 2 games. But boy was I wrong.

cole train from gears of war 3 wearing his alternative costume. Can't stop the train baby!

Once I hopped into a single player campaign I was completely blown away. Keep in mind that up to this point the newest game I'd been playing was Mass Effect II, which has decent graphics that nobody cares about because it's all about the story. But Holy Cow did gears go over the top. I can't help but feel that the online multiplayer would be unbelievably fast without such graphics, but who am I to complain. Nobody cares about lag when they know it affects everyone equally, all I want is to watch as my chainsaw gun rips locust to shreds as Cole Train shouts insults.

Of course Cole Train is my favorite Gear, can't stop the train baby! I'm so glad they actually included a mini-chapter about the infamous Cole in the campaign, but why was is so short? Throughout the campaign I couldn't help but feel that it was rushed through, that the developers could've made it much longer than the 10 hours it took. But I completely understand why they would gloss over that when there's so much riding on the multiplayer. They're probably thinking that if we wanted good single players games we'd buy them, because in Gears of War 3 it's all about the multiplayer.

They finally got around to putting some awesome executions into the game, not like anyone will use them in multiplayer because they "waste time". I waste all the time I want because I always enjoy it killing the same guy 5-6 times in a single round and every time rubbing it in his face by slapping him around when he's on the ground. It seems like every game I buy lately has pushed itself onto my top 10 games list, pretty soon I'll have to make an actual top 10 list so I can keep track of what now seems like 30 games that I call my top 10.

Thanks for reading and coming back to my blog after this extended absence. I hope to get back into the swing of things and should start making my blog rounds again.