Thursday, April 28, 2011

MArkvention #1: Babynator 5000

Since I'm lacking an Xbox I've decided to add to my typical post of weird game of the week with MArkventions, some humerous or slightly useful invention that I come up with during that day.

Today I've come up with a wonderful invention. It probably wouldn't work on the open market because some stupid activists would get horribly upset at the mere mention of a product like this. This would cause such an uproar it would be like if someone suggested that they stop manufacturing hybrid cars, or if the USA declared war on baby animals. Let's bomb those cute little buggers.
this cute baby kitten has a stuffed animal head on him

Okay, enough stalling, here is the greatest invention since bread. The Babynator 5000 is an at home, do-it-yourself abortion kit. It will cost less than $19.95 and will be effective on babylings up to 7 months old, which is one month longer than traditional baby-termination systems on the market today. The best part about this whole invention is that Arnold Schwarzenegger will be the spokesman for the Babynator 5000 and will say the greatest tag-line in the history of products. Enjoy the graphical representation of my advertisement.
arnold schwarzenegger would be the best spokesman for an abortion system since vince the shamwow guy
When the machine is effective it also has a tiny Schwarzenegger voice that says "hasta la vista, baby", and if the machine cannot terminate the babyling he says "I'll be back".

Well, that is my latest idea for a million dollar product that would incur $20 million in legal fees and lawsuits. I can just hear the lawyers that are suing me after they lose the first case "I'll be back".

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Games I Would Buy If My Xbox Worked

My hobby of video gaming is only trumped by my aversion to spending money, so while I might not play the latest and greatest games all the time I make sure to get the best bang for my buck when I buy games. I almost always try to buy used games because they lose value fairly quickly and as little as 3-4 months after release you can purchase a game for half the price of a new one. I don't just stop there at saving money, you also have the benefit of knowing which games are good and which are bad because in those 3-4 months you can read reviews of the game online, download some trial versions, or even play a friends game.

1. Portal/Orange Box : I think most people who game fairly often have heard of portal before, it's that game where you can shoot blue and orange rings 'portals' and step into one and come out the other to solve various puzzles. Right now, the second portal game just came out and as people are jamming into stores to buy the newest release I would probably be trying to pick up a used copy of the first Portal for cheap.
orange box with five games from half-life to portal

2. Fallout New Vegas : I played the third Fallout game just before my xbox died, and I have to say it is one of the best games I've ever played. If you've played Oblivion you would immediately recognize the feel of the game, but the setting is completely different, and I liked the nuclear wasteland much more than the mystical Cyrodil. You can get it for under $20, and I think that's a good value for any game let alone a great one like Fallout
Fallout New Vegas box cover nuclear war fallout 3 best game ever

3. Forza 3 : If you enjoy racing games you probably already own a Forza title, but if you don't I think you couldn't beat Forza 3 which is now selling for $23 used. The amount of customization you can do even in Forza 2 was unbelievable, and with online multiplayer you can expect to enjoy this for many hours. Plus you get to drive really expensive cars, bonus points if the car you own is in the game.
 Forza 3 best racing simulation game for Xbox 360

4. Pokemon Black/White : If you want value gaming and you like making animals fight to the faint, Pokemon is the best game for you. If you don't know Pokemon, get out of here right now, I don't want your kind here. Pokemon is one of the few games I'd buy new because it starts relatively cheap at $35 and each new version instantly becomes one of the greatest games of all time even though they keep introducing new Pokemon that aren't as cool as the old ones. If I could only buy one game on this list it would have to be Pokemon.
Pikachu from Pokemon series, the best game series of all time, gotta catch 'em all is addictive fun

This has been another post about video gaming from a person with no Xbox 360. Hopefully I can change that soon. 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Weird Game of the Week #11: Don't Shoot the Puppy

Now I know I've been absent from my blog for some time and I thought I'd get back into the swing of things by using a classic weird game. I'm sure most of you have played this game before, but for those who haven't this game is a good history lesson.

The year was 1947, and Hitler was rampaging throughout Europe, which has nothing to do with Southern Sri Lanka, where the Mexican Staring frog resides. The Mexican Staring frog of Southern Sri Lanka is known throughout the universe as one of the most 5 deadliest creatures, along with the Basilisk and purple unicorns. The Mexican Staring frog of Southern Sri Lanka has almost nothing to do with this game, the history of this game is that it was one of the first completely useless games that everyone has played at least once.

Click the Picture to go to this game and waste at least 30 seconds of your life.

Shoot the Puppy, the weird game of the week #11 on gaming through life blog