Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Pajama-Suit Up

So lately I have been experimenting with the stock market and have learned one secret that I would like to let you in on. Wearing a suit (or half a suit) magnifies your powers 10-fold. Since I started wearing my suit-top I have made $40. At this point you may be wondering a few things like: What are you wearing instead of suit pants, what difference could wearing a suit possibly make in exchanges happening through your computer, and how can I harness these powers for myself? The answers in order are, pajama pants, none, and you too can wear a suit top and pajama pants.

The powers of the pajama-suit lie in the ability to constrict your upper half whilst maintaining maneuverable lower extremities. This allows for the feeling of urgency for your upper half, making you work faster and, as studies proved, stay focused an amazing 99% more. All this comes without the drawback of constricting movement to the lower half, which increases movement speed a whopping 37.4%.

You might be wondering why you have never heard of the pajama-suit before, that is because the powers that be don't want you to access the amazing abilities the attire affords. If you don't believe me, try the pajama-suit risk free for 90 days.

Through Google Images I have managed to find only one image of a pajama-suit. Luckily this image was taken before the powers that be invented a fictional molestation charge to try and keep the pajama-suit from going public. Also, Barney Stinson from the television show How I Met Your Mother tried to bring the full pajama-suit to the mainstream but due to its loose top-half it has nearly a 73.2% power reduction from the regular suit top + pajama bottom combination.
Michael Jackson pajama suit
Barney Stinson pajama suit

12 comments:

  1. Hmm... I may have to check out this "pajama-suit".

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  2. As a seasoned investor, that definitely doesn't happen man.

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  3. I've never understood the pajama-suit, it makes no fucking sense

    also, totally love Neil Patrick Harris - kinda homo

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  4. well its not bad. I just wear a blazer with combat boots and a jockstrap.

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  5. at first I thought you were serious :( /gullible

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  6. michael jackson was no stranger to comfort. also, would pajama-jeans count? it might be too tacky because they look too much like jeans (if you like your jeans skin tight)

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  7. i'm going out to a rave on you tube, any1 care to join! LOL!

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  8. I'm going to give the pajama-suit a legitimate try.

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  9. i really need to buy a suit.. my old one is too small now.

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  10. That's brilliant! If you're sitting at a desk nobody will know! I think news anchors especially should take advantage of this, they can present the news much more comfortably and freely, while maintaining a professional image.

    MJ was way ahead of his time, he already knew about this excellent combo! Rest in peace Micheal, I know you were innocent!

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