Sunday, February 13, 2011

Chipotle Mexican Grill: A Love Story

Graph of how much money Chipotle stock made me

So, earlier this year I had a post about this video game called the stock market where I said that my virtual account was down 5% in just one week. While, my actual account got money in it and I started to invest, slowly at first because I was cautious of losing all my money and then having to jump out the window like the stock traders of the 1930's. It's only a first floor window though, so it would be worse because not only would I live but I'd also have to pay for a new window.

However, that was not the case because what I did was invest in a little company I like to call Chipotle Mexican Grill. Their stock symbol is CMG which stands for Making MArk Money Company (not the best choice of letters on their part). I'll break down the trade for you now. It was early in the morning on a Wednesday, the clock read 12:30pm, I knew that Chipotle was going to report earnings at 4:00pm Thursday and I believed it was going to be good news. **

I purchased my $1 million dollars of Chipotle stock through my hand-forged "Cayman Island Wire Transfer Briefcase©"at $248.30 per share giving me 4,027 shares of the stock. The company reported great news.**

After all was said and done, the stock had gone up $18.70. Meaning that my 4,027 shares had netted me a cool $75,304.90. I finished the transaction by calling Jason Statham on my burner cell phone and told  him in my toughest voice "Sell it and keep the change". So at the end of the day I'm left with $1,075,304 from my initial investment of $1,000,000.00, an increase of 7.5% in just two days while Jason Statham made $0.90. Sadly though, hiring a photoshop professional for the graphics in this post cost me $75,300 and I had just enough left over for a taco at Chipotle to celebrate my win. **
My team of lawyers(12 of them) tell me I need this next part.

**Some of the facts stated in this article may be slightly modified and enhanced.
 Except for the 7.5%, I really made that, and the Jason Statham part.
Jason Statham Answering My Phone Call


  1. This is great**

    **Complete bullshit statement :)

  2. too bad it wasn't real money :<

  3. Wish it was real money! supporting like always!

  4. ha this was at least a good read

  5. good funny wholesome stuff, stay gold

  6. Reminds me of my fantasy account. I've had it for one year now and 22 trades later I'm 59% up. That gave me confidence to try trading for real... and I ended up loosing £5000. Good times.