Monday, December 26, 2011

The Punisher 2

Here's the thing for anyone reading this, I enjoy stupid action movies. Not that stuff you see Tom Cruise in, what was it, Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol, that's too toned-down for my tastes. You'll never see Tom Cruise rip a dudes head off or unnecessarily blow somebody up with a rocket launcher. You will however see both in Punisher: War Zone, the sequel to the first Punisher movie.

Okay, the reason I picked this one from the library instead of all the others was the promise on the back of "Strong Brutal Violence". I've never seen a movie that's been rated  R for strong brutal violence, normally strong violence is enough. So I popped it in and within 5 minutes the punisher had killed about 20 guys in absolutely horrific ways, awesome. There's one problem though, the time in between the brutal killing sucks. I mean it really sucks, it's so bad I would advise fast-forwarding through it. But it gave me an idea.

I want to start a company that takes normal action movies, and edits them, removing all traces of story. All you'd be left with is about 15 minutes of pure action fight sequences without any of the boring melodrama. I wouldn't stop there, I would take every single action movie ever made and splice the action sequences into the single best movie ever made. Now you're probably thinking that movies need the soft-mushy bits to function, and without them we'd all be left confused wondering why people are shooting at each other, while that's where you're wrong.

Nobody watches a movie like Punisher: War Zone for the story, we watch it to see some badass moves and gruesome killings, that's what my movie titled simply: 'Action' will provide. Look for it in theaters never, although it might be online sometime after I stop procrastinating.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Gears of War 3 Graphics

It's been awhile, but I'm back for some more blogging, hopefully this time I can keep it up. My last post was about Gears of War, so what better way to get back into the swing of things than with a Gears of War 3 post. The thing I'm most impressed about with Gears 3 is the graphics. I first played through it in offline co-op mode, so splitting the 42' widescreen in half didn't give me the feeling that the graphics were much improved from the previous 2 games. But boy was I wrong.

cole train from gears of war 3 wearing his alternative costume. Can't stop the train baby!

Once I hopped into a single player campaign I was completely blown away. Keep in mind that up to this point the newest game I'd been playing was Mass Effect II, which has decent graphics that nobody cares about because it's all about the story. But Holy Cow did gears go over the top. I can't help but feel that the online multiplayer would be unbelievably fast without such graphics, but who am I to complain. Nobody cares about lag when they know it affects everyone equally, all I want is to watch as my chainsaw gun rips locust to shreds as Cole Train shouts insults.

Of course Cole Train is my favorite Gear, can't stop the train baby! I'm so glad they actually included a mini-chapter about the infamous Cole in the campaign, but why was is so short? Throughout the campaign I couldn't help but feel that it was rushed through, that the developers could've made it much longer than the 10 hours it took. But I completely understand why they would gloss over that when there's so much riding on the multiplayer. They're probably thinking that if we wanted good single players games we'd buy them, because in Gears of War 3 it's all about the multiplayer.

They finally got around to putting some awesome executions into the game, not like anyone will use them in multiplayer because they "waste time". I waste all the time I want because I always enjoy it killing the same guy 5-6 times in a single round and every time rubbing it in his face by slapping him around when he's on the ground. It seems like every game I buy lately has pushed itself onto my top 10 games list, pretty soon I'll have to make an actual top 10 list so I can keep track of what now seems like 30 games that I call my top 10.

Thanks for reading and coming back to my blog after this extended absence. I hope to get back into the swing of things and should start making my blog rounds again.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Old Skool Games: Gears of War

this is the first box for Gears of war on the Xbox 360

Since I now have an Xbox I decided to play an old game that I thought was really good the first few times I played it, but, as it turns out, isn't all that great. The first couple times through Gears of War a few years ago led me to believe it was one of the greatest games at the time. I was originally swayed by the amazing multiplayer because I didn't really spend much time on the campaign other than learning the controls. Turns out I was wrong.

Gears of War was a great game at the time because of the graphics and in your face gameplay with curb stomping bonuses, and nowadays it's just average at best. The campaign took me less than 6 hours even on the hardest difficulty and now that there's better games to play the online setup feels lonely because if you wanted to play Gears you'd be playing the second one. I must admit though, I still enjoy the second Gears because of the inclusion of an offline multiplayer with bots.

The lack of a substantial offline multiplayer makes the first Gears of War a relic in my view. The only reason to buy the first Gears now is because you have a need to play through the first campaign to get the full story and you have no friends that have it lying around. Everything about the second game is miles ahead of the first, and you'd be crazy to pay any amount of money for a 6 hour campaign.

I just checked, and this game was released November 17th 2006, which isn't that long ago. The difference between this Gears and Gears 2 was massive considering that there was only 2 years between the two. I guess that what I'm hinting at here is that video gaming is progressing at an amazing speed if 2 years is all it takes to make a revolutionary game obsolete. I'm just wondering how awesome games will be in the next couple of years.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Mass Effect 2: Best Game Ever

I've recently gotten an Xbox at Target because they've been nice enough to offer one for $199 and you get a $50 gift card for buying it. I have finally been able to play Mass Effect II, and I must say that I think it is one of my favorite games...of all time. 
The first game had the best story of any game I'd ever played until I got to Mass Effect II and realized that most of the things I'd done in the first one could have been carried over to number 2 so the next thing I did was burn through the first game so that I would be able to play through #2 with the choices I'd made in #1 in effect. That was the best choice since buying Mass Effect 2. In the first game I had to save Wrex, the Krogan, who was also my favorite character, I had to be a renegade and let the council die and appoint my bro Udina as the leader. I haven't gone back and played #1 with different choices yet to see how different #2 gets, but I like the depth that the creators gave Mass Effect 2.

The only thing I had a problem with in #1 was that if you chose a character that  used any sort of powers, you'd have to stop the action and select it, aim it, and then restart the action to use it and it was way too clunky. They sure did fix that in the second one because it played almost like Gears of War with added superpowers. The only problem I have so far with the action and gameplay is that the second highest difficulty was too easy and the hardest difficulty might be too hard because I've had some parts that I had to play about 15 times until I finally won, but that will make it so much better when I finally save the galaxy.

Mass Effect 2 is without a doubt the best single player game I've played on the Xbox 360. What it lacks in depth and replay-ability to an open world game like Oblivion or Grand Theft Auto it more than makes up for with the best story since the Bible. The fact that you should now be able to pick up ME 1 and ME 2 for under $25 total makes it the greatest 2 game set for that kind of cash.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Balancing on a Cliff:My Financial Future

While, I've been investing my monies in the stock market for some time now, and I've had my ups and downs, made some money and lost some money, but one thing I cannot wait for is the Bureau of Labor and Statistics' nonfarm payrolls report tomorrow. This report could make or break my week, month, year, and life because right now my entire portfolio is going against the bull market. All of the miniscule amount of money in the world that has my name on it is hoping for a small number tomorrow and a massive selloff in equities so my money can transform into a Ferrari, a sweet motorcycle, or maybe so that I can have any money left at all.

I know that putting all of my proverbial eggs into a single basket is extremely risky, but sometimes you just have to do something massively stupid because your gut is telling you to. I probably should have postponed listening to my gut and eaten some tacos, but oh well. It only feels fitting now that I should realize what I've done and produce some quotes from famous people about

  1. how you have to risk to gain
  2. how a fool and his money are soon parted
  3. how to only way to leave a casino with a small fortune is to go there with a large one
 but I'll wait and see what tomorrow brings. These are my two options for tomorrow, bad or good.

even george washington knows that the stock market will make you cry sometimes with a bear market
stock broker that made way too much money from the market crash of 2011

Lets just hope that 1. tomorrow goes very well and 2. that accounts cannot overflow, but that mine will test that theory.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


the president of Cold Steel holding his precious Dragonfly Katana that can cut through anything

I was wondering whether or not the military would allow a member to carry a sword as a weapon, because if I was to join the military I would almost always take a sword with me. Most military personnel carry knives for hand to hand combat, why not swords? Imagine the situation, you're in a close quarters fight with some guy, he has a knife, what weapon would you choose (no guns, cannons, laser pistols, superhero powers, or invincibility) I'd choose a  medium sized sword. With my luck I'd probably end up killing myself with my own sword(which is why I don't own one yet), but at least I'd start out with a weapon advantage.

In my brief search through the interwebs I have come across a company that has one of the most fitting names I've ever seen, Cold Steel. The name alone made me want to look into this company, and what I found is some entertaining stuff, you see, Cold Steel prides themselves on the quality of their cutlery, so they produce videos of their products cutting stuff in a medieval dungeon set. That is where the awesomeness ensues.

Skip to 1:20 and the guy is bending the sword about 70 degrees. Cool, you think, that sword is very flexible, but what speaks to me the most is the guys safety gear. 1 eye shield. Come on, if that sword breaks the last thing on my mind would be to protect my eyes, that thing can cut through a whole pig(later in the video) and that guy doesn't even wear gloves, that is confidence, in Cold Steel's disability insurance.

Skip to 1:40 and the president of the company is talking about using two swords when he says "I'm a huge fan of two swords, I fight with two knives alot". At this point I'm thinking to myself that this guy is insane, he "fights with two knives alot", how many people has this guy killed? Who would pick a fight with the president of a knife/sword company?

Skip to 2:50 to see the president get down to business. They spent the majority of the video playing around with cutting tiny ropes and bamboo and stuff, now bring out the human analogues. Mythbusters uses pigs all the time because they are about the same as a human body, so effectively the president is showing you what his swords can do to a human. He doesn't waste any time and cuts off the pigs head effortlessly, then cuts the whole pig in half, at this point I'm thinking that a sword is a very good option for personal defense in a home invasion situation, and in the meantime you can have awesome barbeques, or perfectly sliced fruit.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

MArkvention #1: Babynator 5000

Since I'm lacking an Xbox I've decided to add to my typical post of weird game of the week with MArkventions, some humerous or slightly useful invention that I come up with during that day.

Today I've come up with a wonderful invention. It probably wouldn't work on the open market because some stupid activists would get horribly upset at the mere mention of a product like this. This would cause such an uproar it would be like if someone suggested that they stop manufacturing hybrid cars, or if the USA declared war on baby animals. Let's bomb those cute little buggers.
this cute baby kitten has a stuffed animal head on him

Okay, enough stalling, here is the greatest invention since bread. The Babynator 5000 is an at home, do-it-yourself abortion kit. It will cost less than $19.95 and will be effective on babylings up to 7 months old, which is one month longer than traditional baby-termination systems on the market today. The best part about this whole invention is that Arnold Schwarzenegger will be the spokesman for the Babynator 5000 and will say the greatest tag-line in the history of products. Enjoy the graphical representation of my advertisement.
arnold schwarzenegger would be the best spokesman for an abortion system since vince the shamwow guy
When the machine is effective it also has a tiny Schwarzenegger voice that says "hasta la vista, baby", and if the machine cannot terminate the babyling he says "I'll be back".

Well, that is my latest idea for a million dollar product that would incur $20 million in legal fees and lawsuits. I can just hear the lawyers that are suing me after they lose the first case "I'll be back".

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Games I Would Buy If My Xbox Worked

My hobby of video gaming is only trumped by my aversion to spending money, so while I might not play the latest and greatest games all the time I make sure to get the best bang for my buck when I buy games. I almost always try to buy used games because they lose value fairly quickly and as little as 3-4 months after release you can purchase a game for half the price of a new one. I don't just stop there at saving money, you also have the benefit of knowing which games are good and which are bad because in those 3-4 months you can read reviews of the game online, download some trial versions, or even play a friends game.

1. Portal/Orange Box : I think most people who game fairly often have heard of portal before, it's that game where you can shoot blue and orange rings 'portals' and step into one and come out the other to solve various puzzles. Right now, the second portal game just came out and as people are jamming into stores to buy the newest release I would probably be trying to pick up a used copy of the first Portal for cheap.
orange box with five games from half-life to portal

2. Fallout New Vegas : I played the third Fallout game just before my xbox died, and I have to say it is one of the best games I've ever played. If you've played Oblivion you would immediately recognize the feel of the game, but the setting is completely different, and I liked the nuclear wasteland much more than the mystical Cyrodil. You can get it for under $20, and I think that's a good value for any game let alone a great one like Fallout
Fallout New Vegas box cover nuclear war fallout 3 best game ever

3. Forza 3 : If you enjoy racing games you probably already own a Forza title, but if you don't I think you couldn't beat Forza 3 which is now selling for $23 used. The amount of customization you can do even in Forza 2 was unbelievable, and with online multiplayer you can expect to enjoy this for many hours. Plus you get to drive really expensive cars, bonus points if the car you own is in the game.
 Forza 3 best racing simulation game for Xbox 360

4. Pokemon Black/White : If you want value gaming and you like making animals fight to the faint, Pokemon is the best game for you. If you don't know Pokemon, get out of here right now, I don't want your kind here. Pokemon is one of the few games I'd buy new because it starts relatively cheap at $35 and each new version instantly becomes one of the greatest games of all time even though they keep introducing new Pokemon that aren't as cool as the old ones. If I could only buy one game on this list it would have to be Pokemon.
Pikachu from Pokemon series, the best game series of all time, gotta catch 'em all is addictive fun

This has been another post about video gaming from a person with no Xbox 360. Hopefully I can change that soon. 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Weird Game of the Week #11: Don't Shoot the Puppy

Now I know I've been absent from my blog for some time and I thought I'd get back into the swing of things by using a classic weird game. I'm sure most of you have played this game before, but for those who haven't this game is a good history lesson.

The year was 1947, and Hitler was rampaging throughout Europe, which has nothing to do with Southern Sri Lanka, where the Mexican Staring frog resides. The Mexican Staring frog of Southern Sri Lanka is known throughout the universe as one of the most 5 deadliest creatures, along with the Basilisk and purple unicorns. The Mexican Staring frog of Southern Sri Lanka has almost nothing to do with this game, the history of this game is that it was one of the first completely useless games that everyone has played at least once.

Click the Picture to go to this game and waste at least 30 seconds of your life.

Shoot the Puppy, the weird game of the week #11 on gaming through life blog

Monday, March 28, 2011

Money Managing Basics: Why I Hate Banks

This post is going to be a tiny bit more educational than most I do, if you like it I can do more, if you don't then I promise to stop and I may erase all evidence I tried this. Note: This is not advice you should take without doing your own extensive research. 

The game is a game that we should all at least know about, may have lost/made tons of money off of it, or have dreamed about getting into. The Stock Market. I am going to assume that most of my readers are young, like me, so there is still time for you(us) to make your(our) millions and retire in a tropical paradise(or bomb shelter). The problem is that when people start making money, they don't know how to manage it well, and in the long run, good managing will make the biggest difference in your potential wealth.
This is the personal thoughts section of the post: I think you're at a huge disadvantage trying to get to that seventh figure if you don't take advantage of the markets. If you are young, then it is even more important because you can take advantage of the most important money-maker: Compounding Returns. I'll now take a look at various scenarios for you.

        When my mom looked at bank CD's for my brother, the 1-year rate was .7%, meaning if he deposited $1,000 then at the end of the year the bank gives him $1007. You might think that's awesome, he gained $7 per year by doing nothing, but you don't see what the bank did with that money. The bank probably took that money and piled 300 other accounts like it into a mortgage for somebody buying a house that they then charged 6%+. So from my brothers money the bank made $60+ and paid him $7, not cool banks. Of course you have the security of a $1007 payment 1 year later.

Rating: Low Return, Low Risk      -- You don't really see any significant return until you have lots of money or if you own the bank.

         Your two choices with stocks are buy/sell. You can buy a stock and hope it goes up, or you can short sell a stock and hope it goes down. A brief definition of short selling is that you are borrowing somebodies shares and selling them with the intention to purchase them back at a lower price than you sold them for. In this region of investing, you can have whatever you want, safety, risk, safer-risk, you can have almost whatever combo of Risk-Reward you want. I'm sure you have some idea of how the stock market works so I'll use my brothers $1000 as an example. Note: The market is kind of volatile at the moment so you might want to wait or at least investigate further before you jump in.

      You pick a stock like McDonalds(MCD) that pays a 3.3% dividend to shareholders and you'd buy 13 shares @ $75 for $975 total. Now, the chances of McDonalds going bankrupt in the next year is almost 0, but the market will still affect the stock price so you will gain and lose money throughout the year, but as long as you hold on long term, you will earn $2.44 a share from dividends X 13 = $31.72 per year from your $975, which is 4.5 times more than the banks return(per year) and would take a little over 4 years to make using the bank example. 

Rating: Relatively low risk with decent reward if you're in defensive stocks over the long term(multiple years)

       The other idea with stocks is to go with Growth stocks, ones whose share prices will change large percentages relatively quickly. For this example let's choose Netflix(NFLX), if you used my brothers $1000 and bought 5 shares of NFLX on March 18th, 10 days ago, at $210 per share, you'd spend $840 to buy 4 shares. Today, 10 days later, those 4 shares are worth roughly $948, so you would have made $108 in 10 days using your $840 for a 12% return. With the bank example at a .7% return, that would take 15 years using the full $1000. You might see where this is going now, your money, while very safe in the bank (up to $100,000 per account), is not going to increase fast. Take note that you could also lose that same amount of money just as easily in stocks so it's not as safe as the bank.

Rating: Variable Risk: Variable Reward  --You can do whatever you feel comfortable with in stocks

         These are for the gambler, like me, who wants huge rewards and is willing to take the extreme risk to get those rewards. I personally have lost 96% of an investment with options, that sucks, I have also made $180 in 1 minute 32 seconds, which is why my hourly rate is $7,000/hr  to mow the lawn mom. Those are the extremes, but This is the warning here: experiment with options using a virtual account first to make sure you've got it down because the results can be devastating. If this post works well I'll do a more in-depth look at options trading in the future.With options, experience is invaluable, so practice first.

Rating: Very Risky: Returns Depend on what you do--- This isn't really a viable choice for consistent investments, it's more of a substitute for Vegas. 

Stocks + Options:
 The most popular use of options is to supplement an already strong stock portfolio. This is mostly done by selling covered calls against your shares of stock for an additional return. If you have the money, the covered call can make your returns consistently massive. If you've got $35,000, the covered call calculators often suggest you can make over 100% per year selling weekly covered calls on Apple(AAPL) stock. Note: My personal dream for the last few months has been to build enough money to buy 100 shares of Apple stock so I can do this, as you'd make roughly $300-400 a week like clockwork. Again, that is not advice, but you should seriously investigate that for yourself if you have $35,000. 

Rating: If you have the money for 100 shares of a stock, Covered Calls are really something you should look into to supplement your stock earnings.

I hope you learned that I think banks suck and comment so that I know whether or not I should make a post on Options or delete this and forget it ever happened. 

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Weird Game of the Week#10: Third World Farmer

Sorry that I've not had the time to go out and comment on your stuff but I'll do that now.  I've been having some stock-related financial hardships at the moment, which is ironically why this week's weird game is brought to us by Wall Street, "what happens in Wall Street stays in Wall Street".

I'm pretty sure that this game is rigged to make you lose and die a horrible death because it has a "Please donate to third world farmers" thing once your final farmer has died.

I found this game to be extremely hard because I know nothing about farming, but on the upside I "lived" for 17 years after I became a third world farmer, even though the last few I didn't have enough money to plant crops and had to sell off my wife and kids only to wind up negative $100 when I died. The second time I farmed, I survived and became sort of a billionaire among the third worlders because of my first years awesomely risky peanut yield.

To play this game you can either Click Here, or you could donate all of your money to that third world farming charity and move to Africa to show them how to plant peanuts.

Now all I've got to do is make some money so I don't have to go into third world farming. Stupid stock market.

I also think it's about time to reward the people who actively comment on my posts with some "dividends".
Third World Farmer game, Weird game of the week #10

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Apple Stock and Broken Windows

Today wasn't my best day in the world of stock trading, so I've had to jump out a few windows. As many of you don't know, I'm a huge fan of Apple stock, I think they're basically going to the moon price-wise because they continue to gain market share on Microsoft in the PC game and they have the ability to create whole new markets with products like the ipod, iphone, ipad, and whatever else they can tac that i on. Sadly, today just wasn't Apple's or my day. Apple is now down about 4% today, and with it I'm down about $1000 it is down basically because of Japan and "Some stupid idiot that I hate had the nerve to downgrade it from "buy" to "Market Perform"". I hate that guy.

It's the first time I've been down this much money and it just kills me to see that red 4th digit on the daily P/L column of my account. I just would like to take some time and fantasize about what I'd do with the $1000 that I just lost. There, I thought about it, and I still think I'd use it to buy more Apple stock, looks like I'll never learn.

This is bad, but I'm not knocked out yet. I've still got my Apple stock and some options plus, the amount of money I've made off of Apple in the past takes away some of the horror. So I think I'm going to wait through this temporary storm and (hopefully) emerge from it making money, or at least not losing $1000.  I guess the moral of this story is that I hate that analyst guy and really, really, really want to see Apple stock going up tomorrow, friday, and every day for as long as I live(or own the stock).

If it goes down more tomorrow, you might not hear from me again because the windows already looking pretty tempting now. Sadly, not even my pajama-suit can repel losses of this magnitude.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Weird Game of the Week#9: Stair Fall 2

It's been awhile, but this week's weird game is brought to us by Inclined Planes©, the world's first vertical displacement specialists. This game seems simple enough, throw the stick-guy down the stairs and try to cause as much damage to it at possible. My best was only 371, which I believe can be improved by maximizing my click-thrust momentum. 

Click the Pic to play the game. 

Stair Fall 2, weird game of the week number 9

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Spring: Motorcycle Time

One of my favorite things to do since 6/29/2010 is ride a motorcycle. If you haven't ridden one before I would highly recommend that you do at some point. So, it's almost warm enough to get outside and ride my motorcycle. It would be time already if it weren't 40 degrees F outside. I've been waiting since early September to get back on my bike, and I can't wait another day. I've been doing some dreaming online recently and have come up with the 5 motorcycles I would own if I had $1 million US dollars (MArk's note: I already have $1 million Zimbabwe dollars). So here goes a list of the motorcycles in my mansion's garage. All prices are in US dollars though, so I have to wait until the Zimbabwean exchange rate hits 1:1.

Number 5: 2007 Kawasaki Ninja ZX-6R   0-60: under 3 seconds Top Speed:180mph  Price: $10,000 new or a 2007 for $5,000    -Insurance Note: Don't Insure the bike for much, it's the life insurance you want.
-This would be my ride when I wanted to go fast (but I'd never go over the speed limit mom). Probably to slice through rush hour traffic or carve up a mountain.
A Kawasaki Ninja zx-6r

Number 4: 197x Honda CB 350    0-60: doesn't matter        Price: $2000 for a nice one, $300 for a fixer
-My ride when I need to be stylin'. This is just a classic bike that looks great.
A 1970 Honda CB 350

Number 3: 2011 Triumph Thruxton  0-60: 4.9 seconds      Price: $8800 new
-When I need style and the CB is broken down. Side note: It's name will be "Thruxtor"
A Triumph Thruxton named Thruxtor

Number 2: 2011 Ducati Monster 796  0-60:  ~4 seconds   Price: $10,000 new or older used for ~$5,000
-I'd buy two, one to ride, and one to go in my living room as modern art
The awesome Ducati Monster 796

Number 1: 2004 Kawasaki Ninja 250r   0-60: ~5 seconds  Top Speed:93mph, or so I've heard(I've never been over 65 mom)  Price: $1,750 for a 2004 with 1,428 miles
A new 2011 model will set you back $3,999
-This bike has been my ride since 6/29/2010 and it'll probably have 50,000 miles on it before I buy any of these other bikes. (note: pictured isn't mine, it's mine's evil identical twin brother, Quincy)
Kawasaki Ninja 250r Motorcycle

Well, that's millionaire MArk's garage, 6 bikes for a total cost of $37,550 or I could leave out 1 of the Ducati's and the total would be $27,550. Thinking about it now, that isn't too much money, people usually spend about 3/4 of that on a single car and I'd have my 5 favorite bikes. Now all I have to do is move somewhere that's warm enough to ride all year and I'm set, and oh yeah, get the money too. 

Friday, March 4, 2011

Scotty McCreery: What Have I Done???

So my last two (counting this = 3) posts about country music American Idol sensation Scotty McCreery while testing out my SEO knowledge have done quite well for me. How well you ask? Vegeta, what does the scouter say?
Scotty McCreery is over 9000

You might have to click and view this next one a little larger.
scotty mccreery has led many people to view my blog

So young Scotty has made it into the top 12 on American Idol, which means that I can expect this trend to maintain itself for the time being. I thought at maximum I would get 1-2 clicks from this Scotty McCreery stuff, but this is madness. Scottie's fans will continue to google his name and click on my images/posts, and if he keeps making it to the next round of American Idol, there will be more and more searches to accompany it, and I'll be right there to lure them into my Scotty McCreery fan page.

From just an 11 hour span today, 7 people have clicked to view my blog from a scotty mccreery related idol search. I never thought he would be this good to me. Scotty McCreery is my favorite country singer, right after that guy who sings that song about being American, drinking whiskey, and tractors. I know, that could be any of them. Lots of people see the next big country music star in Scotty McCreery, but all I can see is a big fat pile of cold hard cash. All I have to do to own that pile of greenbacks is fight off Simon Cowell and anyone else who owns American Idol.
This is the huge pile of cash Scottie McCreery and American Idol will make me

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

American Idol Roulette: Scotty McCreery Round 2

While, as most of you forgot already, last week I made a post about American Idol's Scottie McCreery, the wonderful deep-voiced country singer. The point of that post was to see if I could get any people who genuinely searched for him to meander over to my blog. You tell me if I succeeded.
Scotty McCreery from American Idol
If you're wondering I did, and I proceeded to laugh endlessly when I saw those figures. I cannot believe that many people thought I was really going to inform them about Scotty McCreery. Or maybe they just liked the moustache? When you google Scotty, my images are on the first page, which is quite an accomplishment(if I do say so myself).

So, back to the purpose of this round 2 endeavor, I thirst for more Scotty McCreery songs, I require more Scottie McCreery searchers to be redirected to my blog, and most of all I want to laugh at them. So here we go. This is a picture of Scotty McCreery from American Idol sporting his trademark moustache. 
Scotty McCreery Country Music American Idol
This next image is my personal favorite. Yo Scotty McCreery fans, I'm really happy for you and imma let you search but those I Spy books had on of the best searches of all time. Of all time. Plus, it's sure to get the clicks since people want to know what it is exactly.
Scotty McCreery from American Idol Sings Best
Lastly, I have compiled what should prove to be like crack cocaine for the average country music listener. Imma let you figure out what I did there. 
American Idol Contestant Scotty McCreery Sings Country Music

This has been another installment of the MArk intruding on search results show, thanks for watching. 
Stay classy Scotty McCreery fans. Plus, check out a pic of my search queries for the past 2 weeks, pretty soon they will be in the neighborhood of 9000. 
Some of the search queries that I show up for at Gaming Through Life blog

Saturday, February 26, 2011

World of Warcraft...Dun Dun Duuun!

So I've finally resorted to doing it, playing World of Warcraft. It is just a 14 day free trial, and I haven't started yet, but I already know that I need to keep from getting sucked in. I need to keep telling myself that this is just a temporary fix for a gaming withdrawal. I'm going to start it up right after I publish this post and hopefully it will be good, but not good enough to lock me into it's magical spell. I'm going to toe the line between worlds and hopefully I can come out unscathed, for there has been many a knight felled by its mystical powers.

 Now, I shall pay tribute to some warriors lost between our worlds....... I'm going to ask you to now play the video and slowly scroll down the page. I know this is a blatant ripoff of the ASPCA commercial but hey, why fix what ain't broken. I'm just upset I can't get that slow zoom in/out thing they do.

nerd at his computer
a fat guy trying to fix his computer
a super nerd dressed to impress
nerdy batman cosplay
why do fat guys cosplay as girls
fat guy cosplaying
fat girl cosplaying

I shall venture onward now, in hope that I might return to you one day with most of my cardiovascular health in tact.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

American Idol Roulette: Scotty McCreery

While watching the newest episode of American Idol for whatever reason I had, I remembered something I read on a blog some time ago. That is that somebody (me) should buy the domain names for American Idol contestants in the off chance that they strike it big and you own their .com name. First, the person I would bet on would  be Scotty McCreery, because he is a good ol' country boy who will probably sell millions of country records(because it's country music).While, I'm thinking about doing this because
a) It doesn't cost that much money ~$15
b) It wouldn't be that much work to basically copy and paste some stuff about them from around the net c) there could potentially be hundreds of thousands of views on that domain within the next few weeks as they perform and get voted off.

As we know, hundreds of thousands of views means $$$ but the downside is that I'd be risking $15 and a bit of time to make another site about Scotty McCreery. I really can't decide what I should do here, but here are some facts.
1. All the contestants are taken so what is left over are the lowerclass domains and misspellings
2. I'd only be looking at linking a blog type website to this domain so it'd be easy to create
3. It would give me a reason to watch American Idol
4. I could always make a fanpage and hope to get some crazy twilight-esque following

Of all the ideas I've come up with for making easy money, I think this is one of the stupidest, right behind animal shaped rubber-bands and bean-bag baby animals. Man, those ideas sucked when I had 'em back in '87 (I wasn't born yet). You might ask "Why would you bet on Scotty McCreery in this American Idol roulette?" Well, like everyone always says.... Always bet on black.
Scotty McCreery plays some good country music on American Idol
  This is just a little PR work I did for young Scottie. I think this will increase his singing abilities beyond any meer mortal. You're welcome Mr. McCreery.
Scotty McCreery playing some country music with his new moustache on American Idol
 That, my friends, is a moustache transplant from the great Burt Reynolds, which is what I feel will jumpstart his career in country music. To all of Scotty's fans, You're Welcome. Anyone think he looks infinitly creepier in the bottom one? I really need to get back to video gaming since all I'm doing for fun is messing up searches nowadays. If anyone actually looking for Scotty McCreery country music on American Idol sees this I'm going to die laughing.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Weird Game of the Week#8: Amateur Surgeon 2

This week's weird game is brought to us by Somalia, the third world leaders in amateur healthcare. This game is exactly what it sounds like, amateur surgery. You play as a doctor who has been fired/let go/whatever from his hospital and resorts to working in what looks like a gas station bathroom. You get patients who want(need) surgeries from you, and you perform them with some simple tools. This game is easy to understand because you just cut people open, find stuff, and sew them up, but it seems very hard since I only had 2 seconds left on patient 2 or he would have died. I haven't even tried patient 3 yet because I just can't have a death on my surgery stats. Click the Pic to go to the game.

Amateur Surgeon 2, Weird Game of the Week #8

Monday, February 21, 2011

Hippopotamus Seppuku, Hipster Moustaches, and Hard to Jump to Platforms

Todays post is about some stuff I've learned through creating my first website. It's also about how I hate it when video games include platforms that you need to go to, but are just right on the edge of your jumping range. It gets even worse when they string lines of these hard to reach platforms, I hate it. That's enough about platforms, what this post is really about is some tips to help your blog and some cool technologies that Google provides us web-people. Okay, there's a break here so my front page isn't covered in massive images.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Crime Show Investigator: i Need Some Feedback

So I haven't posted for the last couple of days because I've been working diligently on my website. I've actually been working on it for over 3 months but I kicked it into maximum warp this week. It is something I thought of where people can submit reviews of crime television shows and movies, like the billions of cop dramas and detective shows that there are nowadays. I watch a few, and that gave me the idea, plus I just wanted to try my hand at creating a website.

Here's where you come in. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to wander into my website with fresh eyes (and unique web browsers) and tell me if you see anything. It can be anything, from something horribly wrong to something that you just don't quite like. I don't have every browser known to man and the ones I do have are the newest versions so I want to know if any of you see something that gets messed up in your browser. If something looks off could you please leave a comment with your browser and what happened and I will happily go and comment and support you. I don't really want support yet on my new site though, thanks.
---Sorry about the obnoxious link text down there, it's just a small bit of SEO. ---

 The site isn't complete because I don't even have a review of every television show I posted a category for and the movie section is non-existent. The Forum is a mess even though I've spent 5 hours today manipulating the stupid css files. Alright, this is what I think to be the worlds best crime show review website Crime Show Investigator: All Crime Movies and Television

And here is what you are comparing it against. There is also a gun to the left, I know it's not there in the pic.  the worlds best crime television and movie website

I think I did pretty well and I only spent $43.32 out of pocket on the whole shabang (not including the cost of my time).

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Universe Needs Saving: Metroid Prime 2 Echoes

So since my Xbox is in a garbage dump, I decided to break out the old Gamecube and try to beat some games that I never beat. I only found 2 games in my stack that I never managed to complete. Metroid Prime 2 Echoes and Legend of Zelda Windwaker. I'm pretty sure that the reason I didn't beat these games (in the no less than 3 times I tried) was because it took so long that I eventually got bored and stopped playing, then, when I started playing it again I always restarted from scratch since I couldn't remember anything I'd done previously. This time will be different. I will defeat the baddies and save the worlds. I just started Metroid yesterday and am already 20% done according to the save file.

Metroid Prime 2 Echoes is all about Samus Aran, a bounty hunter with a special suit. The whole point of the game is that you were investigating the disappearance of some marines near planet Aether. It turns out that the marines were following some Space Pirates when they crashed on the planet and were killed by the Ing. The space pirates were after Phazon, some kind of blue energy crystals, when they stumbled upon this planet loaded with the stuff. The only problem is that this planet is actually 2 planets in one, a dark one and a light one. Some cosmic stuff collided with the planet creating parallel planets and the evil Ing in the process. Now that you have arrived, the light world finally has a hope of defeating the Ing and (wait for it) saving the Universe, because the Ing are so powerful that they will take over everything if they succeed here. It also turns out that  (surprise!) the dark world also has an evil parallel Samus clad in (wait for it) all black.

This game is actually much better than I make it out to be, I just hate the fact that you can't look up/down while moving and when you want to charge a beam shot you always fire a single shot first and basically waste ammo. That being said, one of my favorite parts of the game is that you start very close to the marine ship and the creatures in that location amount to cockroaches. So you get to see some cutscenes where a whole battleship of marines die from tiny insects. I also like the powerup-spacing. Here's a list of the powerups I got during the first of the 3 temples. Space Boots, Missiles, Light Beam, Dark Beam, Power Bomb, Dark Suit,  numerous missile expansions(8) and health expansions(4). The only thing left for me to do is exterminate the Ing and return Aether to its former glory. I'm just waiting for M. Night to step out and be like "The light world is actually the bad-guys and you just helped them conquer the Universe"dun dun dun.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Chipotle Mexican Grill: A Love Story

Graph of how much money Chipotle stock made me

So, earlier this year I had a post about this video game called the stock market where I said that my virtual account was down 5% in just one week. While, my actual account got money in it and I started to invest, slowly at first because I was cautious of losing all my money and then having to jump out the window like the stock traders of the 1930's. It's only a first floor window though, so it would be worse because not only would I live but I'd also have to pay for a new window.

However, that was not the case because what I did was invest in a little company I like to call Chipotle Mexican Grill. Their stock symbol is CMG which stands for Making MArk Money Company (not the best choice of letters on their part). I'll break down the trade for you now. It was early in the morning on a Wednesday, the clock read 12:30pm, I knew that Chipotle was going to report earnings at 4:00pm Thursday and I believed it was going to be good news. **

I purchased my $1 million dollars of Chipotle stock through my hand-forged "Cayman Island Wire Transfer Briefcase©"at $248.30 per share giving me 4,027 shares of the stock. The company reported great news.**

After all was said and done, the stock had gone up $18.70. Meaning that my 4,027 shares had netted me a cool $75,304.90. I finished the transaction by calling Jason Statham on my burner cell phone and told  him in my toughest voice "Sell it and keep the change". So at the end of the day I'm left with $1,075,304 from my initial investment of $1,000,000.00, an increase of 7.5% in just two days while Jason Statham made $0.90. Sadly though, hiring a photoshop professional for the graphics in this post cost me $75,300 and I had just enough left over for a taco at Chipotle to celebrate my win. **
My team of lawyers(12 of them) tell me I need this next part.

**Some of the facts stated in this article may be slightly modified and enhanced.
 Except for the 7.5%, I really made that, and the Jason Statham part.
Jason Statham Answering My Phone Call

Friday, February 11, 2011

Weird Game of the Week#7: Gamer Skill Test

This weeks weird game is brought to us by Jesus, the worlds finest agriculture management consultant. Before you go any further, check out the game or else you won't get the joke. Okay, that might not have been the game I was talking about.

  This is the real weird game of the week #7. This game is brought to us by Silly Bandz, the world leader in kids' 5-10 rubber wrist apparel. The whole purpose of this weeks game is to test how talented you are as a gamer through fast-changing mini-games. These games aren't explained beforehand and change rapidly so the first time you play through the game is your baseline gamer instinct. Subsequent plays will allow you to learn the games and get slightly better scores as well as a more accurate reading of your abilities. Here are my first 3 plays in order. Notice the explosive growth in all 3 sectors.

My first play-through score

my second play-through score

my third play-through score

Just for fun I tried one where I did nothing and let the game run through without hitting a button to see the minimum score. Other than the positioning score it destroyed my first time, meaning that I'm worse than someone who doesn't hit any buttons. 

the score when you don't hit any buttons

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Gaming Through Life: The Worlds Best Hippopotamus Seppuku Resource

Earlier in the month I tried to get my blog to be the number 1 link in google for the phrase "How do I get a hippopotamus to commit seppuku?", and I have succeeded. With this victory come the spoils, as I have also ranked pretty well for a variety of hippopotamus/seppuku related queries. Below is a sampling of my accomplishments.
Google results page for gaming through life
search results page for hippopotamus seppuku

Gaming Through Life: The Leading Expert on Hippo Seppuku
My blog is the best for hippopotamus suicide
Another google results page for my blog: Gaming Through Life
Hippopotamus committing seppuku results page
My blogs results for hippopotamus suicide queries
Gaming through Life

And now for my personal favorite. That second result is a blog I'm following that has a recent posts from followers column. So that means my blog is #1 and a link to my blog from another blog is #2. Booyah. Mission Accomplished.
My favorite google search results page of all time